28 February 2009

A Few Good Men

Film: Valkyrie
Director: Brian Singer
Cast: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Tom Wilkinson and Bill Nighy

I remember reading this old Mad spoof on World War II movies some years back, which lampooned the changing face of the Nazi/Japanese prison commandant over the decades. According to its timeline, the films made during wartime and soon after always depict these commandants as lean, blood-guzzling embodiments of evil, subjecting their malnourished and hapless Allied prisoners to all manner of ignominy in order to satisfy their insatiable malice towards all things decent. Over the course of the feature, as the years pass and Hollywood mellows, these villains become increasingly sympathetic, eventually seen going into paroxysms of despair every time one of their valued prisoners needs to be sacrificed to the whims of their country's wayward leadership (even the prisoners grow more and more understanding of this unwelcome necessity). By the end of the feature you can't tell apart the prisoner from the prison guard, both looking equally contented with their respective stations in life (which are not so different after all), lounging around and tossing back gin rickeys and sharing stogies, fondly discussing that steadily impending day when peace would arrive with a big grin and handshakes all around.

The function of Mad, of course, is to exaggerate the truth: which, in this case, refers to Hollywood's enduring and constantly evolving obsession with World War II drama. We've seen massive epics that chronicle the war and its atrocities from a deific perspective, action thrillers that glorify violence and create unlikely heroes, human dramas that examine the intricate interplay of lives caught in the chaos, and even the odd satire that pokes holes in our inflated sense of right and wrong. In all this abundance, however, there has always been a mild bias in these films (understandably so, given the dominant ideological leanings of the establishment, and the fact that war movies are automatically classified under Oscar bait): there is always a reluctance on the part of the average producer to tell stories about the lives of insiders in the Nazi administration. And, in my own roundabout way, this is where I introduce the movie under review here, the next step in Wartime Hollywood's evolution, a mainstream film that has dared to let slip that there were a few Germans too who exhibited extraordinary courage and heroism during those morbid times: Brian Singer's Valkyrie, a LeCarre-style retelling of a foiled military coup in Nazi Germany.

Starring Tom Cruise in an impeccably restrained lead role as Colonel Claus Von Stauffenberg, Valkyrie is really not worthy of the negative criticism it's been recently recieving. If anything, it's Singer's triumphant return to form, drawing reservior-loads from his knack for essaying a suspenseful plot (as seen in the brilliantly entertaining The Usual Suspects – the title of which, ironically, refers to a witty piece of dialogue from Casablanca, another great World War II thriller). It hinges on the unsuccessful fifteenth and final plot to assassinate Hitler, audaciously perpetrated on 20th July 1944 by Stauffenberg, a Strangelovesque figure with several integral parts of his body missing, and his high-ranking cronies. The plan is for a group of rebel politicians and high militia to sever the current head of state, and then use the altered provisions in a continuity-of-government operations plan called 'Walküre', or 'Valkyrie', to disarm the SS and assume leadership of the country, thereby allowing the new government to broker a hasty peace with their enemies before Europe is laid to waste. Everything in the plan is worked out and accounted for with characteristic Teutonic accuracy, except for circumstance.

Cruise, in his modulated performance, is supported by a group of the best dramatic talents that Singer could muster from across the Atlantic – Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Kenneth Branagh, Terence Stamp and, improbably, comedian Eddie Izzard, among others. Valkyrie's greatest strength and one minor flaw both come from this talented gang of Brits. The acting's spot on, but between Cruise and the limeys, all the good guys in the movie have distinctly Allied accents, while the baddies, deliberately or not, all sport camp German accents of the ve-haf-vayz-of-making-you-talk species. Distractions notwithstanding, the film's pacing and unimposing direction coerce you to ignore all such eccentricities as the plot races ahead. Singer's ability to keep things taut makes a wincing, squirming fool out of you – you know exactly what's going to happen, as per History's incontrovertible testimony, but you can't help hoping in your heart of hearts that Stauffenberg will somehow be successful at his mission. It's a strangely disconcerting feeling.


This article appears in the final issue of The Bengaluru Pages, dated March 1 2009.

13 February 2009

Paradise Lost

Caught in passing, walking down a Malleswaram street one recent afternoon:

video


If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

9 February 2009

The Little Meme That Could

I've been tagged by this textile babe on FB and Mr.Bob via his noodly blog.

The conceit of this thing, that of supplying 25 sordid factoids about oneself, has already been stretched much too far and by far too many like a petty prophylactic across Time's interminable member. Evidence has recently been discovered by certain literary historians that even the Bard was once manipulated, perhaps by a jealous Anne Hathaway who hoped desperately of revealing once and for all the true identity of the Dark Lady, into parting with a random 25 of his own most personal truths. So before the damn thing finally gives in to all of internetkind's onanistic strain, here's some of my own germinal spew:

1) I have of late begun to feel my age. In my shoulders.
2) A year ago I took a half-hour long online test for manic depression that resulted in a scarily high score. I've been using this as an excuse for my bad behaviour ever since.
3) I need variety, pace and a lot of gimmickry in whatever work I do. And I get bored very, very, very, very very very easily. I exhibit this boredom with the most classic response: by dropping everything and going into hibernation/running away.
4) My room is a mess right now, but I plan on cleaning it tomorrow. As if you care.
5) I have a mild flu, for which I've been taking woozy-making antihistamines. I'm riding the stupor by pretending to be a series of movie characters. It's a real pity that you're not here to watch.
6) 26 years of age, and I still don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up.
7) A rider to the previous confession: I don't ever want to be a boring adult. Never ever.
8) I currently have enough money/money-making prospects to last me through the next few months (touch wood), but in all conventional senses of the term I'm quite unemployed.
9) I have a major weakness for pizza.
10) I have an even bigger weakness for the blues (the music, not the feeling).
11) I also fall immediately and hopelessly in love with practically every pretty, well-spoken and funny woman I meet. I meet a lot of them, and it causes me all kinds of woodyallenesque paranoia.
12) A fun blockbuster-type Hollywood movie (or) a top-notch British comedy any day beats all other modes of entertainment (except maybe a trip to the amusement park, or a live blues performance, or sex, or smoking up with old friends, or... um...)
13) A combination of the previous four points (minus the paranoia) is my idea of heaven, in whatever form or order.
14) I think that the concepts of faith and morality, as per popular notions of the four major religions of the world, are grossly overrated.
15) I've hero-worshipped Stephen Fry ever since I first watched QI.
16) I enjoy taking long walks at unreasonable times of night when no one else is about + I haven't shaved in a week = in the last five days I've been pulled up twice by different configurations of the neighbourhood constabulary for vagrancy and suspicious behaviour. They all have records of my address, occupation and father's name now.
17) I reconcile my twin passions for travel and staying at home by largely ignoring the former and indulging the latter.
18) I read in the loo. This is common info, but no one knows the details: only poetry, non-fiction, heavy literature and Mint. Go on, be judgmental.
19) I enjoy dancing to Bollywood remixes. There. I've gone and said it now.
20) I'm seriously running out of things to say, so I'm going to go off and walk around my terrace for ten minutes.
21) I'm back from a cup of chai, a smoke and some general meandering, and I'm still at a loss.
22) Once I get started on a freelance project -- writing, illustration, design, co-ordinating something, whatever -- I can turn into a raging workaholic, keep at it for four or five days continuously with minimal sleep, nutrition and excursions to the outside world. The trouble, always, is getting started. It sometimes takes me a month of "getting into the mood" before I can accomplish a few days' worth of concerted work. I'm a complete and remorseless slave to inertia. Some of my old clients won't even talk to me any more. But I'm getting better (man!)
23) I was bitten on the leg by a cockroach yesterday. It was quite painful. I killed the little bastard with a hiking boot.
24) I used to be fantastically cute as a child.
25) I might've gone and blabbed more than I should've in all this. Screw it, who gives a toss.

I tag:
Abhinav who just might sportingly take this up,
Samanth who definitely won't, but I'm hoping he'll at least leave the usual sarcastic comment or half,
Dev, a nice chap who got me a watermelon and a bag full of musambis in terrible times of illness and decay, so I forgive him even if he doesn't,
Nish, whose blog, inert for two years now, is overdue for a revival,
and Shruti who's, um, hard to predict.

Bobo/Suhana: you're buying me a drink the next time we meet.

5 February 2009

Stupid Cupid

Tired of merely watching, Big Brother is now bent on throwing rice at you:

"Those found dating, expressing their love, cosying up to each other would be married off," [Sri Rama Sene founder, Pramod] Muthalik, who has been released on bail in the Mangalore pub attack case, said.

The outfit has formed ‘five teams’ which would roam around with a hidden camera on Feb 14. A priest would accompany the team which will have a turmeric stub and 'mangalsutra'.


Sounds like a post-Slumdog Mike Judge treatment? Wait, there's more:

Muthalik said, "as a citizen of the country, it is my democratic duty to put an end to anything that is obscene... [but] being a brahmachari does not mean I do not understand love."

(Read the whole article here.)

This guy needs to be given his own talk show. Or replace Captain Stubing:







(sorry about the pasty rush job, but I just couldn't resist -- this was too funny a mental image not to Gimpify)





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